It’s even better when his supporters deny the existence of unedited video that shows exactly what he said
Now I know why people call you handsome
My mom looked at my dad. My dad clenched his fists. My mom screamed: "NO DON'T DO IT" …. My dad, breathing heavily: "HI GAY, I'M DAD!"
But I decided to call her Bluff.
Because it is two gross.
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He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
Who the fuck does that.
They will be so disappointed when the finale is not a cliffhanger.
Math puns make me number
I gave him a glass of water
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Life before that is a blur.
I loaf it 🍞
That percentage is zero. That's a good percentage of Nazi friends to have.
It was at that point in my life i realized i was fucking nuts.
It can write other words too
The first says: “Windy isn’t it?” The second says: “Wednesday? Isn’t it Thursday?” The third says: “Thirsty? Let’s order some drinks!”
Man: Wait. I can explain everything!
My hot as hell lesbian neigbors asked me to be to sleep with them so they could have a baby. We’ve been trying for three years now.
I haven't got the heart to tell them I got a vasectomy five years ago.
It was a third degree burn.
They couldn’t find the Androids they were looking for.
I'm the real part.
It was udder destruction.
And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them "My hat my candy"
I said, “Weird. I was about to ask you the same thing.”
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance.
A young couple decided to take their 5 year old son to see the circus. After several amazing acts, the ringmaster led six bull elephants into the center ring, linked trunk to tail in the usual manner. "What's that big thing hanging off the elephant, Mommy?" Little Johnny asked. "That's his trunk, honey," Mom replied. "No, that other thing," Johnny insisted. "Oh, you must be looking at his tail," Mom offered. "No, Mommy, that big thing underneath him, by his belly," Johnny said. Realizing her son was asking about the elephant's penis, Mom got embarassed. "Oh, that's nothing, sweetie. Daddy went to get some popcorn. When he comes back, he can tell you all about the elephants." Soon, Dad came back with popcorn, and Mom went to use the restroom. Johnny took the opportunity to question his father. "What's that big thing hanging off the elephant, Daddy?" "That's his trunk, son," Dad said. "No, Daddy, not his trunk, and not his tail. I mean that big thing underneath, by his belly," Johnny repeated. "Oh, that," Dad said. "That's his penis, Johnny." "Huh," mused the five year old. "Mommy said that was nothing." "Son," sighed Dad, "I've spoiled that woman."
I guess I’m just black toast intolerant.
It hasn't come out yet