It’S fUnNy BeCaUsE iT’s TrUe
Turns out he wasn’t born yesterday.
Because he couldn't see that well
Alpacastan! …I'm not sorry.
but for me it will always be cake day!
I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
Ass skin for a friend.
An old woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
She couldn’t see that well.
A rip off.
In the riverbank
IT'S FUCKING R/AWW , YOU IDIOT!
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It’s a running joke.
One evening while the women are in their own rooms, the men drinking at the pub below their lodge, Rob: I bet a 100 dollars I can fuck way more than you ever could in a night. Dan: I don’t think so! I would like to compare numbers tomorrow morning at breakfast! Rob: you know how the ladies get talking about this sorta stuff… Dan: I’ll tell you what, mark the count on the outside of your door and I’ll do the same, no one else has to know… They go back up. Rob has sex 3 times, marks his door with lll and goes to bed. Dan comes around at 4 in the morning, barely able to walk, and looks at Rob’s door, and swears “Rob you son of a bitch! I wish my wife didn’t pass out, I was 6 away from your 111 !!”
They throw one cigarette overboard and make the boat a cigarette lighter. (heard in the Adam West Batman series)
Bacon will kill you… But, smoking bacon will cure it.
He didn’t even finish his sentence.
As if any of us still have jobs
The boy, who had just coloured his hair various shades started feeling uncomfortable by the old man's gaze. Unable to take it anymore, the boy shouted – "What is it old man? Can't stomach when people do wild things?" The old man replied – "I once fucked a peacock when I was a teen. Wondering if you're my grandson".
He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens. For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens on them. After a few decades of this, my grandfather had amassed several dozen neckties, each one with cartoonish images of chickens flying around, laying eggs, and doing other chicken things. I always complimented him on the newest addition to his collection. When he died a couple of years ago, he bequeathed them to me in his will. When my grandmother handed me the bag full of them, my eyes welled with tears and I smiled thinking about my grandfather looking in the mirror and straightening his tie. Why am I telling you all of this back story? Because the last time I tried to tell this to someone and I didn't give context, they thought it was weird that I was so excited about inheriting my dead grandfather's hen tie collection.
Now more of their users are getting off than ever.
Since then, I have been a lot more successful in my attempts
"You're not holding on to last year's shit" My wife beat me to the first dad joke of the year. Damnit
He can now ride a bike without training wheels
I'll let you know…
Which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.