Juggling seems fun
But I just don’t have the balls to do it
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?" Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
I’m their new spokesman.
They really take the cake.
If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
They live past the age of three
There is a law in my city that people who live somewhere else can’t be buried in any of it’s cemeteries.
It's because they are still alive.
Because calling him Master Vader made all the Stormtroopers giggle.
To talk to the other side
… for 20 seconds. … And only once.
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied "1956, ma'am." The woman, in disbelief said "1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better." The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour. Afterwards, the woman cuddled up to the general and said "Well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956…" The general looked at her, confused, and replied "I sure hope not, it's only 2130 now."
Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.
He stops at nothing to avoid them
To get to the idiots house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Bawk Bawk Bawkaw
They’re hill areas
Like roman numerals.
Because she was thicc
Because they're really good at it.
Digging giant tunnels underground.
Because of all the knights.
It's one of the many benefits of being self employed
He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash. As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too. The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide. The dentist got close enough & said, "Man did you have a 69 before you came here?" Kevin, shocked says, "Why, No! Does my breath smell like pussy?" The dentist says, "No, but your forehead smells like ass!"
"Jesus," said my wife. "Look alive, will you!"
After all, it's cooked doe.
3 men arrive at the pearly gates and they see Peter. Peter says we don’t have much space in heaven so we’re taking in people who experienced the worst death
First guy go. “I was walking down the hall of my 27th floor apartment building and I suspected my wife was cheating on me. I rushed through the door shouting where is he!? I looked everywhere while my wife was trying to tell me no one is here. Then I found him. Hanging off the ledge my balcony. I started stomping his hands until he fell. He survived by landing in the bushes but I picked up our fridge and threw it down on top of him and it killed him. Due to all the excitement I had a heart attack and died.” Peter was interested, second guy go. “I was doing pull-ups off the ledge of my 28th floor balcony when I slipped and by some miracle caught the balcony below me and hanged on. I was about to scream for help when a crazed man started stomping on my hands and I ended up falling into the bushes below. I once again survived only to find that now a fridge was about to land on me. It was too late to move so I died.” Peter was shocked but wanted to hear the thirds story. Third guy go. “I was having sex with another mans wife when we heard he was almost home. He was getting closer to the door and his wife said “Quick hide in the fridge!”
Love meant nothing to her.
Germany. I'm no dad but I'll get myself into shape for when the time comes .