Just lo-fi meme for you, guys
As a Pink Floyd fan, nothing makes me angrier than seeing a vegan eating pudding.
Because how can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?
If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it 1 star
What’s Jesus’s favourite hobby
Why can’t Superman beat Dracula?
Because he's afraid to go into the krypt tonite!
Funny and sad
Given the circumstances this is my birthday party this year
Why couldn’t Hitler eat oranges?
Because he hated the juice.
It’s been quite some time since a useful PSA
The same dress…
Happy Halloween kids
Last night I lost my watch at a party.
Later on I saw some guy harassing a woman while standing on it, so I walked up and punched him in the face. Nobody does that to a woman…. not on my watch
Your savior is here
Stop it bro!!!
Due to the Covid crisis, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times.
They fired all Naan essential staff.
What are you drinking there?
I dunno water you drinking?
Hahahahaha I hate my wife
My uncle sent this in the family WhatsApp group
First post here.
I can’t find my ‘Gone in 60 Seconds’ DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
I spent 10 minutes trying to remember what the opposite of “night” was..
In the end I had to call it a day..
An Irishmen walks into NASA and says
"Can Ireland my spaceship on the moon"
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers…
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Petition to get SpaceX to send a Flat Earther into Space
Elect a clown, expect a circus
Call J. G. Wentworth!
Adult normal ninja turtles
Showing emotion bad. (Found on my areas Facebook page)
Why did the cake go to the doctor?
It was a coughee cake.
When your friends saw you popping a hand sanitizer.
What he is trying to report?
A vegan said to me, “People who sell meat are disgusting.”
I said, "People who sell vegetables and fruits are grocer."
Boomer Breaking News
I put too much effort into this
Home Alone rat Marv
Guys my calendar is really sick..
I think its days are numbered.
A man walks into a bar and it’s empty – it’s just him and the bartender.
He sits down and orders a drink. After a few seconds, he hears someone whisper, “Pssst… I like your tie.” The man looks around but doesn’t see anyone. “Pssst… that color looks nice on you.” He asks the bartender, “Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?” The bartender rolls his eyes and says, “No, sorry about that. It’s the peanuts… they’re complimentary.”
My 10 month old son is learning to wave.
At dinner I asked him where the light was so he pointed at it. I told him to wave hello to the light and luckily he did. I then looked my wife dead in the eye and told her that was the hi-light of his day.
Bobby stuck on the fence
“Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?” “Rhino!”
"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn!"
Without any protective gear
Life of a Programmer!
It’s melting time bois
This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
Found at my church
Had an argument with my physiotherapist regarding my posture
But now I stand corrected
What do you call a floating dog?
A good buoy.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
You can fool the normal people but not developers
I’m addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers.
It's really hard to quit cold turkey
As a doctor, I am addicted to hitting my patients on their knees to test their reflexes.
I really get a kick out of it.
This is why I should read the error message
I slipped on my wife’s bra today…
It was a booby trap
Is the world ready for ejaculating clocks?
I guess we'll know when the time comes.
This happens everyday.
It be like that
Gay is good
The only thing I like about gay s3x is that it doesn’t involve women😉
Why do women seem so surprising?
Because everyone exclaims "woah man" when they see them
I tripped over my wife’s bra left on the bedroom floor last night…
Damn boobie traps
Why did the writer have his desk next to the window?
He liked to feel the draft coming in.
My new car supports the one true date format
A work friend just sent me this. Not sure how to cope
My girlfriend said to me last night, “You treat our relationship like some kind of game!”
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance…
The pinna(cle) of success
They say to never go shopping for food when you’re hungry
but it's been a week already and I keep getting hungrier and hungrier.