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Vet: I have no idea. It’s toucan fusing.
The decision was a piece of cake.
I haven’t heard from him since.
I just don’t see it.
but with extra steps!
I hope you're happy.
– with millions of clocks around the room. Confused, he stood up and asked, "What are the clocks for?" Saint Peter said to him, "These are the clocks of everyone in the world, they only move when someone lies." So John goes to one and says, "Why has this one only moved twice?" Saint Peter said, "that is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice for he has only lied twice in his life." John goes to another, he asked, "Why hasn't this one moved?" Saint Peter says, "That is Saint Teresa's, for she has never lied." Curious now, John asked, "Where is Donald Trump's clock?" Amused, Saint Peter says, "Oh, Jesus is using it as a ceiling fan in his office."
As he was dying he kept telling us "be positive, be positive!" But it's gonna be really hard without him.
The fifth was dead Sirius.
She’s a private tutor.
'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The Army helicopter pilot thumbed through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said. It did make light; you may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said The Navy C-2 pilot reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said, 'they had a ring to them, you may pass through the pearly gates'. The Air Force fighter pilot started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women'spanties.. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?' He replied, 'These are Carols.' And So The Christmas Season Begins. . .
and I've already got a friend in me.
They both give children serial numbers.
Because the previous kid was Ben Nine in comparison.
I never imagined my house would have a drug attic.
The leaning tower of pisa
I couldn’t differentiate between them.
He hates capitalism
"Yes, we arson."
I just never had the balls to do it
He had an iron deficiency