Just ruins the tweet
When they say no I yell,”GOD DAMMIT I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!” Then I fire my gun in the background and drop my phone.
Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside..
So I decided to call a toe-truck.
It’s his worst fear – hare loss.
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I failed my driving test today. I was driving down a country road with the examiner, when a rabbit ran out right in front of the car.
I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try to avoid an animal, because it's dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident.You should always just hit it and keep on driving. Had to chase that little bugger for miles across the fields before I finally got it!
De brie everywhere.
I meant to buy a bottle of whisky On my way back home I felt like I could fall off my bike and end up breaking the bottle of whisky So I decided to drink it all at once right there It was the best decision of my life because on my way back home I fell off my bike like 8 times.
-Which one of you fucked my wife??!! Some guy in the crowd says: – you should bring more bullets
Thanks daylight savings!
No text found
Because it's the scenter
"By?" "No, he's straight from what I know."
…we’ve drifted apart.
Because he's always a little fishy
Because he pities the fuel.
They like to beat the crowd
"I Still Love Easter BABY!"
A song came on on the speakers and I asked "Is this green Day?" He replied "No, it's valentine's Day"
He hates capitalism
But when I got home, the tables were turned…
Because then it would be a foot
He tractor down.
It will be the last thing I do.