Just shave it at that point
All that money and nothing to chauffeur it.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen
A rip off.
I only have my shelf to blame.
I don't know what's worse, that I'm being cheated on or the fact we're both homeschooled.
It’ll be called “Many Cures and Manicures”
She looked surprised.
Father: Son, I donated all your toys to the children's home. Son: Why did you do that? Father: So you will not be bored there.
it rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist
A man arrives to the airport with three bags. He walks up to the counter and says, “I have a ticket for Los Angeles. Would you be so kind as to send this bag to San Francisco, this one to Miami, and if at all possible this one to Japan?” The gate agent replies, “Sir, that is flatly impossible!” He counters, “That’s a lie, you did it last time I flew with you guys and I didn’t even ask!”
looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers are satisfied by this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple's care. The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills." Next though, the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment. This time the wife explains, "Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet." The social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?" The husband says, "It doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon."
Because he has low elf esteem.
A man asks another man to lend him $10 until next pay day. The second man says “sure, here you go. when’s next pay day?”
“I don’t know, you’re the one with a job”
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
But I came away with uncertainty and disorientation.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure-bread.
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita.
They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but Im glad she slapped him." The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didnt know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadnt missed him when she slapped me!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "Im glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"
Or should I spread them apart
My husband has been making a lot of pizza lately. He ferments the dough and I have been naming each batch with a pun. The current batch is Yeast Lightning. I texted my dad and asked him to help me think of some new names. He texted back "Just rise to the occasion."
There will be mass confusion.
I answered 'in sundae school', he laugh-snorted, my wife gave me the look we all know here.
Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.
Because six, seven eight.
But those letters aren't silent, they're just waiting their turn
But then he disappeared without a tres…
Teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you
He was loafing around.
I said, “Thanks babe. You MRS. Right.”