#karmawinsagain i love karma 😌
But the other 2 are
You don't want to press your luck…
Dead Man Wokking
To cover its butt-quack.
A handful of them.
Because you can’t C in the dark
What a liar! I opened the fridge and it's working just fine.
The first time he set a building on fire, I turned to my wife and said, "yep, that's arson."
They asked, "Can you perform under pressure?" I said, "No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody."
I once lived a stone's throw away from a family that all died of mysterious head injuries.
Husband: Sometimes, but only by accident. Wife: What? How does it happen by accident? Husband: Well, sometimes when I'm pooping, I can't help it.
I think it was filmed in a movie theater, though – I see a little silhouetto of a man.
My Ma: I'm not buying you a car.
Your mom is so fat that, a group of people started believing that your mom is actually flat. [EDIT] OMG, thanks for the Platinum Wow, thanks for the support guys
I don't know how I feel about that. (Credit to 30 Rock. Thought it fit here)
The weather just isn't suitable
The finale will be shot before a live audience.
I am starting to finally understand why navy captains go down with the ship
One goes whack "shit" The other goes "shit" whack
The surgeon said: go ahead, knock yourself out.
They both end with “Checkmate”.
You call them antisemantic!
They say the business is toast.
He calls them Mother and Motherfucker.
He threw in the towels.
It would be "bad at following directions"
But I'm clean now.
The Martian male was fucking the earth female but she told him that his penis was too small so he pulled his left ear and his penis became longer then she told him that it's too thin so he pulled his right ear and his penis became wider and the earth female became very happy. The next night the earth female asked the earth male about his experience with the female martian so he said "yea it was fun but idk why she kept pulling my ears"
I honestly can’t remember a single time I’ve ever forgotten anything.
They have two shifts.
Well I don't know but the Dinomite