Le Epic Oscar XD
Because with great power comes great response ability
It's working perfectly. They're in their mid-forties and still don't know.
And my soccer coach in 7th grade asks me: Do you they call you Will or Bill? Me: They call me both. Coach: Okay, Both, nice to meet you. I'm 42 years old, and that man's son still calls me "Both" to this day.
Because they don't want to be spotted.
I said, "That's a weird name for an author."
But I would feel guilty if anyone got it.
Everyone suddenly wants to be your friend when you take it out at school.
but none of them work.
At ten feet I told the the joke and everyone laughed. At twenty feet, same result. At fifty feet no one heard me…
Guess I went a little too far with that joke.
You make a flowchart
Been so many years and nobody told me.
and the leader of the captors said, "We're going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot you all in turn. But first, you each can make a final wish." The Englishman responds, "I'd like to hear "God Save The Queen" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played by the London All Boys Choir. With Morris Dancers Dancing to the tune." The Irishman replies, "I'd like to hear "Danny Boy" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung in the style of Daniel O'Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune." The Welshman answers, "I'd like to hear "Men Of Harlech" just one more time to remind me of the country, sung as if by the Treorchy Male Voice Choir." The Scotsman says quickly, "I'd like to be shot first."
I told her I’m pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete in a tournament yet.
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent
Unfortunately we soon drifted apart.
Because they have their own scales.
A panda walks into a bar. Orders a meal and quietly eats it. When the bartender comes with the check, the panda pulls out a shotgun, shoots the bartender, and prepares to leave the bar. The bartender, on his last breath, screams “Why?!”
The panda pulls out a dictionary, points to the entry on pandas, which reads: Panda (n.) – Eats shoots and leaves.
That her breasts are in the way is not our fault.
Who’s there? Wah. Wah who? Settle down. This isn’t THAT great of a joke.
The first girl says, ‘My boyfriend can fit a whole fist up there.’ The second girl says, ‘Ha, my boyfriend can fit two fists and a foot.’ The third girl just smiles as she slides down the bar stool.
Studies have proven that people who have more of them live longer.
People are dying to get there.
I hope you're happy.
I don't know why I put it on in the first place.
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
A bad marksman shoots, but can't hit. A constipated owl hoots, but can't shit.
When she noticed me, we went for a run
Livers are important.
Because the meat was Chewie.