You need a parachute to skydive twice.
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said "Bach Bach Bach!"
But that’s comparing apples to oranges.
1, 2…get down
Then it's a soap opera
Because they know how to book it.
At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he’d be around for his 104th.
"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."
Not having potatoes.
He just nuts and bolts
The second hand store.
It was a scrotal eclipse of the fart
I then came in cider.
They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Sherlock wakes up Watson and says: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.” Watson replies with: “I see millions and millions of stars.” Holmes says: “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson thinks for a minute before responding: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes looks at Watson before responding: “No you idiot, it means somebody stole our tent.”
I decided to give it a shot.
He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist
Turns out she meant together.
I said, “Weird. I was about to ask you the same thing.”
A nice game of gluten tag always cheers me up.
Stupid question, even a child knows that.
I’M NOT UPSET, BUT DON’T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT.
For my liiifffeee to be oveeeerrrr!
I shouted "I'm supporting the one with the knife" they both ran away..
but geography is where it’s at!!
So I told him, “C4 yourself”
He found it an arrowing experience
…to meet the new mortician…
In case I got a hole in one
You can actually hear them say "what the fuck are you doing?" Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
Those were the Good Years.
With a sea-saw.