(That means talking down to people)
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
An ambulance you racist!!
I was driving this girl to her house and told her that I wasn’t good with directions, she laugh at me…
So I just right her left there.
I was in the bar last night and this guy said to me, “I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar!”
I asked, “Is that a fret?”
Is like continuing from someone else’s saved game
"I only have my shelf to blame…"
A guy goes into the US postal service to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." "OK, have you ever been in the military service?" "Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour." The interviewer says, "that will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says, "yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles." The interviewer grimaces and then says, "disabled in your country's service! Well that qualifies for extra bonus points. Okay. Looking at the regulations you have got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 AM every day." The guy is puzzled and asks, "if the work hours are from 8:00AM to 4:00 PM , why don't you want me here until 10:00 AM ?" "This is a government job , " the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
He got charged with Brie Larceny
But it still has potential.
He has serious selfie steam issues.
But math puns make me feel number
I hope he knows he can hide but he can’t run
Bacon will kill you… But, smoking bacon will cure it.
Aisle B, back.
It would be appropriate to serve meals to them as "Can-a-bull."
As fur away as you can get.
Picked him up in a night club. He looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement!…. That's when I thought "Fucking hell there's something wrong here"
I said no, the cars are much faster
Then he fired me.
I know I’m not > or < than any anyone else
Shomething sheemsh Amish
and holds up two fingers exclaiming "Five beers please!"…
I had the upper hand
so I went home.