Lets show support by getting infected with a deadly virus, overwhelm the healthcare system and have to quarantine for a longer period of time
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?
Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot.
Wife yells from kitchen: Babe, we’re almost out of trash bags…
I yelled back: Well why do you keep throwing them away? I got a very stern look.
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American…
… an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudan, a Botswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Briton, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djiboutian, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Englishman, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian, a Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub. The doorman stops them and says, "Sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai."
It is interesting to realise that the Indian Gods are also called Devs
/r/teenagers/comments/f2yg7u/it_is_interesting_to_realise_that_the_indian_gods/
A dad is given bad news by a doctor
Doctor: Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards. Dad: AND?
What’s another name for Vampires?
Neck-romancer
I’m okay with smoking, alcohol, and marijuana.
But cocaine is where I draw the line.
A priest, a pastor and a rabbi walk into a bar.
A priest, a pastor and a rabbi walk into a bar and soon begin arguing over who’s the best at what they do. Eventually they decide that in order to prove who’s the best, they would all go out alone into the woods and convert a bear to their respective religion. A few weeks later.. they meet up at the bar and the priest announces, "I found a bear by the river and started talking to him about the Lord. He liked it so much that he now comes to mass every week." The pastor says, "Well, I saw a bear in the clearing. I started reading him the bible and he loved it so much that he is now going to be baptized in about a week." The priest and the pastor turn to look at the rabbi, who now has a broken arm, a fractured collarbone and several cuts and bruises. The rabbi says, "You know what, looking back, maybe I shouldn't have started with a circumcision."
What do you call a midget party?
…a little get-together.
Children are like farts
You can only tolerate your own
Coronavirus update: Everyone at John Lennon airport has been quarantined.
Imagine all the people
Most people are shocked when they find out
how bad an electrician I am.
I tried to impress a bunch of people at a party by playing my guitar, but nobody took any notice.
They just frowned and moved to another part of the silent disco.
If I had a nickel for every time I didn’t know what was going on
I would be like… how did I get all these fucking nickels??
A guy with wet feet enters a bar
The barman asks : Why are your feet wet? The guy says: I went into the lake to get wood. A second guy enters the bar and is wet from the knees to the toes. The barman asks: Why are you wet? The second guy says: I went into the lake to get wood. A third guy enters the bar and is wet from the hips to the toes. The barman asks: Why are you wet? The third guy says: I went into the lake to get wood. A fourth guy enters the bar and is completly wet. The barman says: I guess you went into the lake to get wood?! The fourth guy says: No. I'm Wood !
Why is Donald Trump happy about the impeachment result?
Because it’s the first time he’s gotten the most votes.
What do you call Bigfoot in Europe?
Big Meter.
What the world looks like before the brain vertically inverts the retinal image
https://ift.tt/3e2R080
I’m reading a horror novel in Braille.
Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.
My wife told me: “Sex is better on holiday.”
That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing. It’s on the house.
(Forgets Ferbruaury has that weird amount of days)
(Forgets Ferbruaury has that weird amount of days)
The owner of the local strip club has a lisp.
I tried to go last night, but they were clothed.
Avengers: Infinity War is the perfect holiday movie…
…for Ash Wednesday.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a K and not a C
You can’t C in the dark