If i could find a country that didn't take immigrants in I'd move there…
I can do it with my eyes closed!
One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls outside and made them line up. By chance, Lulu's grandma came by. Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, Lulu told her that the police were passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some. "Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," Grandma said, and she proceeded to the back of the line. A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all the prostitutes. When he got to grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it old girl?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck 'em' dry." The policeman fainted.
Just remember that it's somebody's job to install turn signals to BMW's
Wait, I’m still working on it.
He did a sult-ana
An udder disaster
A farmers cock is getting old, so he decides to buy another younger one. When the new cock is put into the pen with the other chickens, the old cock says to him "I own all these hens, they all will only sleep with me, but I am old, I will give them to you if you grant my last wish before I die" The young cock is desperate to sleep with all these hens, and respects the old chickens last wish, so he agrees. "I want you to fuck me like I am one of them, I've always been curious what it's like, but there's never been another cockerel around" The young rooster is a little put off, but agrees all the same, so he mounts him and starts going when suddenly there is a loud bang, and the young rooster drops dead The farmer puts down his shotgun and says "fuck sake, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month"
a. 10,000 km/s b. 100,000 km/s c. d. 1,000,000 km/s
Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.
She was shellfish.
she fell onto the floor. She popped right back up on the bed and yelled, "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
they're fried in Greece.
That when he dies he'll walk toward the light and switch it off.
Because there's no post on Sunday
I have been sleeping with my best friend's Mom now for many years. It has really torn me up as I am pretty sure he suspects it but is something we have never talked about. We have been really good friends now for 20+ years. I feel even worse because of how much he as looked up to me and how much I have helped him through. At this point there is no way I can break it off with his mother. Finally I have decided to tell him over dinner and drinks and I invite his mother to come. I was holding her hand under the table the whole meal (since she sat on my side). We finish the food and I finally just come out and say it: John, I have been sleeping with your mother for the past 20+ years, I don't want it to ruin our friendship. John just looks at me for a solid minute and finally says: Jesus Dad I kind of figured that one out for myself!
It was accidental.
Say 'Gucci Gucci Gucci'
(Yes, that's a pun.)
.It is dangerous to sleep with your mouth open on the subway.
If you don't have one, you'll have to unload by hand.
I am okay but, I think I dyed a little inside
Dinner is on me!
I was like "Yeah, knock yourself out".
Terrible joke. Only 3 stars.