Me, to my wife: “that’s stupid. I would think most women only need to have them removed once!”
It’s not a beautiful poem but it is deep
For Hispanic Attack!
As a kid, if I ever said the word “apparently”, he would interrupt to shout “A Son Riley!”
thanks for nothing.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
I can’t believe I’ve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.
You just have to have a feel for it.
I’ll let you know.
Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas! Knock knock. Who's there? Anna. Anna who? Anna happy new year! Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Reddit 🙂
There were so many red flags.
Because no one would bet on a seahorse.
Guess who came crawling back
Because then it would be a foot
Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
Edit:OMG thanks for the silver Edit 2:WTF OMG thanks for the gold EDIT 3:OMFG THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE PLATINUM
They were actually cooked in Greece
A grape wakes up in an Australian hospital, and asks, "Did you bring me here to die?" The nurse replies, "Nah mate, we brought you here yesterday."
Arse skin for a friend.
A lip reader.
I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.
Because seven was a well known six offender
Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
Fish n ships Not mine. Saw it somewhere else and I thought it fits here
So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.
It can offer a whole lot more.
Just heard that Harry is thinking of taking up painting full time after stepping down from the Royal family.
He'll be the artist formerly known as Prince.
… to have his head shaved. "What should I pay you?" the monk asks. "No price, for a holy man such as yourself," the barber replies. And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen gemstones. That day, a priest comes in to have his hair cut. "What shall I pay you, my son?" "No price, for a man of the cloth such as yourself." And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen roses. That day, Rabbi Finklestein comes in to get his payoss [sideburns] trimmed. "What do you want I should pay you?" "Nothing, for a man of God such as yourself." And the next morning, what do you know? The barber finds on his doorstep — a dozen rabbis!
But then I was like Na, people wont understand.
Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you." The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. Before you know it, they're getting down to it. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise. "Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!" "Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
Now she's mad at me because we can't read it anymore