They're really down to Earth.
Edit: I am giving up. Drinking alcohol for the month of January.
Cashier: Hard back? Me: yea, with little heads.
It’s amazing two me.
It's all about raisin awareness
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
I’m not buying it.
I said, "Oh…really?" She said, "Yeah. I didn't see him a second time because I thought he was ugly."
He said it was on the house
It was a real slap in the faith.
While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth. Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his head. The peanut falls into his ear and gets stuck. His daughter comes in with her date. The man explains the situation, and the daughter’s date says, “I can get the peanut out.” He tells the father to sit down, shoves two fingers into the father’s nose, and tells him to blow hard. The father blows, and the peanut flies out of his ear. After the daughter takes her date to the kitchen for something to eat, the mother turns to the father and says, “Isn’t he smart? I wonder what he plans to be.” The father says, “From the smell of his fingers, I’d say our son-in-law.”
The taste. Kindly stolen from my friend who is an ER doc.
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke at a bar and then they knock knock.
It drove pasta stop sign
Because he did not want to be spotted
It was the wurst.
Because they did it before it was cool
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
He could sense his presents.
They're interested in developing one, but can't stop focusing on all the negatives.
She'd never been hunting so they prepared the night before. She made breakfast and lunch for the trip while he got all the hunting stuff clean and got his dog, Butch, ready for the trip. They went to bed early. The next morning, the guy got up and went to check on everything. It was nasty out, 28° and a freezing rain. He got his wife up. She looked outside and said, "There's no way I'm going out in this weather, forget it." He said, "Well, you promised, so if you back out now at the last minute, you have to either suck my dick or let me put it in your butt." She thought it was waaaay too early for butt sex, so she decided to blow him. She starts off nice and slow, but then lifts her head and says, "What the hell? Your dick smells like shit!" He said, "Yeah well, the dog didn't want to go either."
Love without life is necrophilia.
Or should I just keep washing my hands?
Swans listened to her rock and roll
It’s a small scale operation.
We’re a cover band.
The lawyer is to first. He lays his head down, the lever is pulled… But nothing happened. He argues that he can't receive two death penalties, so he is let go. Next, the priest lays his head down, the lever is pulled, and the same thing happens. He claims that he was clearly saved by God, so he is let go. Finally, the engineer lays his head down, looks up at the blade and says, "oh, I see your problem"
It's synching now