Lol I N T E R C O U R S E isn't just a place in Pennsylvania. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

As I approach 50, my wife suggested I get myself one of those high performance penis enlargers…

So I have. She's 25 and her name is Candy.

When people say AI will take over the world

https://ift.tt/397nifw

Completely unaware of the looming danger!

https://ift.tt/319BD6A

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff

Ba-dumm-tsss

My grandma is in her 90’s and she still doesn’t need glasses…

She just drinks straight out of the bottle…

As a kid I always thought a snail would move faster without its shell…

But they only became more sluggish

Suffering from directile dysfunction

https://ift.tt/2QetPys

I proposed to my ex-wife. But she said no.

She believes I'm only after my money.

Can we Unity devs get some love too?

https://ift.tt/3cFg1VW

I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure this isn’t where the subwoofer goes.

An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”

The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."

Renaming mine to master-totally-not-the-slavery-kind

https://ift.tt/3fnxrrm

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Little Johnny what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Little Johnny thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."

Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice…

He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem." The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?" "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering" "Then get an air conditioner" "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor" "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?" "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank" "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help." So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her. Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh… oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

Who would win?

https://ift.tt/2MuP5hn

Someone: “Your name is written all over this.” Me: “Why would you say so?”

I love this sub

This was one of my first reddit posts

Have you ever heard of virtual bubble wrap?

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