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Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki
He sipped his coffee before it was cool
I hate prison.
Fuck me I'm easily lead
On the left side, there is nothing right. On the right side, there is nothing left.
The title says it all.
Keanu is breathtaking, the other one is breadtaking.
A guy says he taught his dog Morse code. “Aye right Show me.” Mate says. Guy turns to dog and asks “who’s been a good boy then?” Dog uses paw on ground. Tap tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap tap tap pause tap. “what he say?” Mate asks
"woof" guy replies
They found themselves standing at the Pearly Gates. "Both of you were very good men," says St. Peter, "but heaven is getting crowded and I can only allow one of you in. What can you do?" The farmer planted a pear tree, and it grew huge, delicious fruits. "Wonderful," said St. Peter. "What can you do, your majesty?" The king immediately went to the nearest toilet and flushed it. Ultimately, St. Peter made the decision to allow the king into heaven. And the moral of the story is, a royal flush always wins against a pear, no matter how big.
I said "No it doesn't."
kinda like yo mamma.
So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
Bad reviews… only 1 star.
"I can arrange some things for you," the devil says. "I'll get you billions of dollars, unlimited political influence, and anything else you can dream of. All I ask for in return is death, disease and poverty for millions of people around the world." The politician thinks for a moment and says, “What's the catch?"
The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror. The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."
Hey Bob, do you shower after sex? Well, of course I do. Great, could you please get laid more often?
Now she's mad at me because we can't read it anymore
80% of guys with six-pack abs don’t like girls.
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia
I wasn’t born until he was an adult.
But then he disappeared without a tres…
It's true! I saw it with my own eyes.
It gets toad.
I think it was filmed in a movie theater, though – I see a little silhouetto of a man.
They said: 'Thank you.' I said: 'Don't mention it.'
A young boy walks into a Halloween teen party with no shirt on, only wearing a pair of loose jeans. The host says, “Well, , this is a costume party.” The young boy responds, “I’m in costume. I’m a premature ejaculation.” The host asks, “how’s that?” “I just came in my pants.”
his funfair is next monkey
I suppose I should have asked why
Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.
There was nothing left but de Brie.
The correct term is "Turd World Countries".
Worst way to check your balance. crickets
well i cant because he's not here