Loss pt. 2: electric boogaloo
Because it was hotter
Terrible joke. 3 stars.
That was two years ago, but he still hasn’t finished his sentence
The opposite of right
an artificial Swedener
But the times when I do, he laughs
She said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights".
Sheepdog: Hey, I rounded them up!
She's googled my name a few times, I saw it through my telescope last night
The finale will be shot before a live audience.
It's much easier to fall when I'm awake.
The chances of someone falling in love with me just went from 0% to 8%
A poultry. (came up with that in the shower)
She got so mad she said she was never going to play Scrabble with me again!
Cause it’s not gonna kill itself.
Is he guilty of resisting a rest
Two days later, he gets a call from the lab. Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that your wife's test results were mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease. Man: So what am I supposed to do now? Doctor: Take her for long walk and leave her. If she finds her way back home, don't open the door.
It marked the first time he's passed in years.
I won't be able to live with myself.
Me: I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way. Genie: I promise that won't happen. I'm so sure it won't I'll give you infinite wishes if it does. Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth. Genie: You son of a ……..
… they're just so Boeing
I never get included in anything either.
Guess who came crawling back
Server: slaps customer THE MEN I PLEASE ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
He felt his presents.
In case she needed to draw blood.
No one knows. But the road will have his vengeance.
But his brother Frank was a monster!
She didn’t know I existed.
All he ever wanted to talk about was his lute.