LPT: If you have trouble remembering your password, find a picture of some running shoes and stare at it.
maybe it'll help jog your memory.
it's not hard…
He had a reptile dysfunction.
It’s just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence.
He said he could make himself disappear by the count of three. He said uno, dos and then POOF he vanished without a tres
No text found
The cornea the better
"Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.
The waiter stopped by their table and said "is anything ok?"
I said "6' 2", but good guess."
Because they lactose.
It's a good thing I'm married…
Because he had loads to do.
You become a vacuum cleaner
It was full; no place to sit… I took out my mobile, placed it to my ear and said loudly- "Bro, come fast, she's here with someone else". Six couples ran away..
Now I can finally eat nuts again, thank God I had masturbation to keep my mind off of the sweet little bastards.
During his job interview, the interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" to which the man replies "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." "Ok, have you ever been in the military service before?" "Yes," he says. "I was in Iraq for one tour." The interviewer replies "That will give you 5 extra points towards employment." After this, he asks "Are you disabled in any way?" The applicant says "Yes, a bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles" After hearing this, the interviewer grimaces and then says "Okay. You have enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are 8am to 4pm. You can start tomorrow at 10am, and plan on starting at 10am every day" The man is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8am to 4pm, why don't you want me here until 10am?" "This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that"
When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are paedophile, there’s no point waiting here. Just fuck off straight to hell!" Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!"
But I barely made it.
My ex-girlfriend used to give me nicknames whilst giving me head. "The Impaler" was my favourite. Well, at least, that's what I thought she said…. Turns out she's asthmatic and it's my fault she died.
Good players are hard to find.
To work on his pecks
She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama
Because then it would be a foot
The rabbit says, "I'm a type O."
Welcome back President Obama we missed you.
I replied, "Probably failing my driving test."
When you replace the b with a d
The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?"