Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..
A super calloused fragile mystic cursed with halitosis.
I saw a man in the street with a dog and a white stick. I said ‘You must be blind.’ He said ‘Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.’
So I said ‘There’s a tree over there.’
Make America grate again!
He was checking her balance
He asks the waiter: "Why they are available so cheap? What's wrong with them?" Waiter says, "Nothing, actually they've been bought here just today." So the man orders some. The waiter returns with a book, sits down and says, "Once upon a time, there was a big red lobster…"
Judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved.
Could this be a red flag?
You just can’t have anyone cashew.
They understand the gravity of the situation.
Especially with all this car owner virus going around
So going to the bathroom could spell disaster
And his dad replies, "Pussy!" The son tells him, "I don't get it…" And his dad says, "I know you don't."
I asked him what on earth he was doing in there. All he said was, "I cum in peas."
She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama
They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
So if you’re a good driver, watch out for women turning
Someone ordered meatballs and Ikea sends them a cow with DIY instructions
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The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
They're the Tolkien white guys.
He didn't. He was never really on your side.
A priest has a heart attack and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being wheeled through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest. "No," says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward".
My shower gets turned on.
But it was his dumb asphalt
Because they're extinct.