Make Racism Wrong Again
When a stripper gets money that definitely has jizz on it she has to report it to the government
Because it's gross income
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman….
“Can I have a drink for me and one for the road”
Wanted: A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Just want to let you know You all matter
Unless you multiply yourself by the spped of light squared then you Energy
This morning Chuck Norris was shot
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Attila walks into a quaint Southern diner.
Waitress says, “What can I get you, Hun?”
Why do the french only use one egg when baking a cake?
Because one egg is un oeuf.
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
You use spring water.
A Chinese child was born before his due date…
His parents named him "Sudden Lee"
I took a class about origami and gambling
They told me “you gotta know how to hold em, and how to fold em.” 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ Dad out.
my wife asked me if I wish she had been born with big tits.
I told her that I find big tits on babies disturbing.
What’s the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?
A rock guitarist plays 3 chords for 10,000 people A jazz guitarist plays 10,000 chords for 3 people
I can’t find my ‘Gone in 60 Seconds’ DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
Hope we can still get it on
Hope we can still get it on
Bill Nye has a daughter who doesn’t believe in science.
Her name is Dee.
If life gives you melons
you might be dyslexic
Who are the happiest people?
Nomads
These guys are the symptom, not the disease (Actually they’re the disease also)
https://ift.tt/2SKn5cj
I cannot believe no ones come up with a cure for anorexia yet.
I thought it would be a piece of cake!
What is an electricians favorite type of news
Current events
Did you know that commas can change the meaning of a sentence.
For example Ben is in a hurry vs Ben is in a comma
Joke my 6 year old son made up.
What is the best type of pan to cook fish in? A CAST iron pan. Get it? Because you have to cast for fish. I thought it was super cute!
You should never run with scissors…
And conversely, you should never scissor with the runs.
2020 was simultaneously a year ago and 10 years ago, time no longer makes sense
2020 was simultaneously a year ago and 10 years ago, time no longer makes sense
Trump tried to kill himself and failed
it was a fake noose
I wasn’t sure if this belonged here, r/im14andthisisdeep, or r/forwardsfromgrandma
https://ift.tt/33rtjjN
I like the guy who wrote “What Is Love”
He really Haddaway with words.
Not all math puns are terrible.
Just sum.