Man how relatable
So I pushed her over
He could binomial!
I couldn’t handle it.
If they get to high they'll get busted
I’ve definitely seen some change in him.
It was hard to grasp.
Instead of a swear jar I have a pessimism jar, every time I have a negative thought I put a coin in.
It’s currently half empty
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
"How was you English test today?" She asked "It was easy except I had trouble on this one difficult question" "What did it ask?" The mother replied "It asked for the past tense of think" "What did you answer it as?" The mother says. "I couldn't really figure it out. I thought and thought and thought and thought, and I finally wrote thunk"
why does it bring out people's inner child?
The bartender says “Sir, if you wanna punch, you gotta get in line.” The guy looks around but there is no punch line
Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers is that true? Dad: To be honest, i never knew she sold flowers.
It’s not hard
A joke has meaning.
Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it! "Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish! "I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said. And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him! "I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said. And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head. Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better. "I wish for a meatier shower!"
Can someone explain to me why tf there’s a patent for the coronavirus?
Not sure how I feel about that
The kids are taking it pretty badly
Come on guys it's a dead giveaway
He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?" "For drinking," replies the officer. "Great," says the man, "when do we start?"
I told her we use names here.
Then it would be a foot.