Maybe the rat that’s coming to save her?
Student : My dad is in the hospital 1 week later.. Teacher : Is your dad still in the hospital? Student : Yes, he is a doctor.
I am not poking fun at anyone for being lower income, you can tell by the picture it’s a nice home. But in my search for a home I found this house and their master “bathroom” really sold me.https://imgur.com/j1345OnPlease post all potty IT jokes
Dad: No, I’m gay Dad. Dad #2: No, I’m gay dad.
Allow me to demenstruate.
He just walked up to it, kicked it and said “they sure don’t make them like they will do soon.”
A humble bee
My response was "Of course, it's a house made of steaks. Except the floor of course. That's made of ground beef." Heard the wife's eyes roll from across the room.
I woke up today with mourning wood.
. The first date arrives, and in redneck tradition, the farmer greets him with a shotgun in hand. The boy tells the farmer, "My name is Teddy, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to get spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer looks the boy over, and then calls Betty to go with him. The second date arrives, and greeted by shotgun, nervously states, "My name is Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're gonna see a show, can she go?" The farmer thinks for a moment, then lets Flo go with Joe. The night's third suitor rings the bell. He says "My name is Chuck-" and the farmer shoots him.
It's syncing now.
Luckily for me he was so good, I didn't give a shit.
The boy sees a worm trying to crawl into an anthill. "I bet fifty bucks that I can get that worm into that anthill!" says the boy. "Your on," says the grandfather. "That worm is too wiggly." The boy runs into the house, comes back with a can of hairspray, and sprays it on the worm until the worm is as straight and stiff as a board. The old man pays his grandson fifty dollars. At dinner time, the man gives the boy another fifty dollars. "I though you already gave me my fifty bucks!" says the boy. "I did," says the grandfather. "This is from your granny."
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A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle. Husband: Programs for mobile devices. 4 letters Wife: Apps Husband: Adolescent, 4 letters Wife: Teen Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters Wife: Didn’t Husband: Take a life, 4 letters Wife: Kill Husband: Religious songs, 5 letters Wife: Hymns Husband: Santa’s little helper, 3 letters Wife: Elf
A ring actually means something to Gollum.
He stopped at nothing to avoid them.
It’s butter that way.
Personally, I think it’s a fair price toupee.
It might seem judgemental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
“Yep, she got the house”
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Because it had a bad driver! drops mic
I said, “We just got here. How lazy are you?”
The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
One turns to the other and says "what kind of music are you into?" The other one replies "I'm a big metal fan"
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