Tommy proudly answered, "North, South and Tad!"
The bartender says we don't serve your kind here, The mushroom says, why not? I'm a "fungi"!?
Is the bar tender here?
Personally, I prefer it without the period.
For a bad altitude
Husband: "Take the car next time, silly!"
Now I want to break three.
But that’s just Hawaii roll.
They say she had a mean flow.
When the punchline’s a motherf*cker.
So I packed my bags and right
So I let him drive it from time to time
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied "1956, ma'am." The woman, in disbelief, said "1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better." The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour. Afterwards, the woman cuddled up to the general and said "Well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956…" The general looked at her, confused, and replied "I sure hope not, it's only 2130 now."
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
When they find out I'm a really bad electrician.
It’s almost like I’m addicted to heroine.
Now I can crunch numbers AND numb crunchers.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
“How long do you have to do that for?” I asked. “When is he too old for it?” “Well, it’s a physical bond between a mother and her child isn’t it? It’s only the society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age.” “Yeah, shut up Joe – I was talking to your mother.”
It gets toad.
They saw our review. 1 star
No text found
“You know, one would have been enough”
The ones that can count 2. The ones that can’t count
Pretty soon they'd all find me attractive
Even the cake was in tiers
Nothing, they fast.
It means a lot to them…
Because then it would be a foot
"This is a stick up!"
Well, it's 2:30 now and she hasn't walked at all