Im indiana Jones, Get out
…whereas oral sex is a matter of taste.
To beat the crowd
….could have been avoided completely if cowboy city planners had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
I had sex last night with 2 blonde hair, blue eyed 18 year old twins that I met in a bar. I was telling my best friend about it this morning and he said "I don't understand the attraction, wouldn't it be like just having sex twice with the same person? Could you even tell them apart?" I said "Sure Kim had a cute little beauty mark just under her chin, and her twin Tim has a dick."
“Why didn’t Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!” My youngest son thought of that all by himself!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska…
as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says "if your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me." To which the woman replied "if your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
Now I have a bitcoin.
There are no firearms allowed in this building.
A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?
"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15. When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs. When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too. When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"
No text found
To look more ap-peel-ing!
especially when I went for seconds
Nail salons closed, Lash salons closed, Hair salons closed, Tanning salons closed, waxing salons closed…
It's about to get ugly out there. Stay safe.
Gabe raised his hand first. He said, "Predator." "Clever answer! They sure eat things!" The teacher told him. Next, Dylan raised his hand. "Oh! I know! Raptor!" "You are very smart! Raptors eat many different things," the teacher said. Then, little Timmy answered. "Vibrator!" The class went dead silent. The teacher told Timmy, "Um Timmy, I don't think vibrators eat things…" Timmy was confused. "Really? My sister told me it ate through batteries like crazy!"
I swam for the surface instead
“Timmy! Close your eyes and leave!” Timmy’s mom yelled. “But… what were you doing?” Timmy asks. “Well, your father has big beer belly, so I was jumping up and down on him to flatten him out!” The mother responds, nervous. “Well, there’s no use in that.” “Well, why not?” “Because when you’re out shopping, the lady next door comes in and blows him back up!”
A buck an ear.
Just the other day I woke up to my beautiful and loving wife holding a pillow tightly over my face to protect me from the coronavirus.
Who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles. She gets off at 6
It was of great sedimentary value.