Me: Yeah I’ll probably die alone
Waiter: No I said will you be dining alone?
… for some good clean fun
To beat the crowd.
My bi-polar bear.
It’s because they look up to me.
Worst french fries I've ever had.
They were Prime mates.
Weird way to start a conversation.
You're missing gout.
Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says: "You know last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building- by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window." The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar. The 2nd Man says: "What are you a nut? There is no way in heck that could happen." 1st Man: "No it's true let me prove it to you." So he gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens to the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar. The 2nd Man tells him: "You know I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke." 1st Man: "No, I'll prove it again" and again he jumps and hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. 2nd Man: "Well what the heck, it works, I'll try it." So he jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors and hits the sidewalk with a 'splat.' Back upstairs the Bartender turns to the other drinker: "You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
My boss told me to wear rubber gloves while dealing with customers this week. I told him “Fuck that.”
I’m doing these prostate exams my way.
She starts fitting into your wife’s clothes.
I said, “Boycott?” Him: That’s what I mean.
Well, it’s finely chopped bits of cabbage and carrots
and I asked if they were gay. They arrested me.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Because they prefer the shingle life!
They're under a buck.
At least, that’s what she said in her diary
AFL, one of the most well-known security fuzzer, recently has got purchased by Google. I was upgrading my own code modification based on the pre-Google version AFL to the recent Google-owned newer version, then I found out they “civilized” some of the developer’s comment. Mildly interesting.
It’s a small world.
Does money even matter?
So now it's just Minnea City
It was cooked in Greece
It wouldn't wash off this morning, so I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
You sheet metal
Because Dawn is tough on Greece
He walks over to his seat and says, "I can bet $100 to each of you that my dog can talk!" Everybody agrees to the bet. The guy says, "Spot, speak!" The dog is silent. "Spot, speak," the guy repeats. The dog still doesn't react. Fuming, the guy begrudgingly pays each of the bettors the agreed upon sum and leaves the bar. Outside, the guy says to the dog, "You set me up, you stupid mutt! Do you even know how much cash I lost because of you?" "Nonsense," says his dog. "Just imagine how much money we'll raise tomorrow from these suckers!"