Meme.. time magazine in bathroom stall
She must be really rubbing her hands together now!
So I pushed her over.
He was good at finding solutions to inequalities.
But most only grow four.
Times new ramen!
they called it a day
The steaks were high, but it was worth it
All the passengers got scared…. Then from the other side of the plane a guy shouted back…"Hey Dave".
I got arrested for a salt!
Because they have little anty bodies
A man is sitting at home and a police officer knocks on his door. The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, "Yes I am." He then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife. "Sure hold on a second." The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train." The man says, "I know, but she has a good personality and is an excellent cook."
For one, you have to use a bicycle. For the other, you can use a race car.
She said, “Thanks dad, that means a great deal.”
The second hand store
A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, “Of course.” To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. He doesn’t hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. Furthermore, the old man moves along without wasting any time. When they reach the 9th fairway, the young man is facing a tough shot. A large pine tree sits in front of his ball, directly between it and the green. After several minutes pondering how to hit the shot, the old man says, “You know, when I was your age, I’d hit the ball right over that tree.” With the challenge before him, the young man swings hard, hits the ball, watches it fly into the branches, rattle around, and land with a thud a foot from where it had started. “Of course,” says the old man, “when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall.”
Apparently if your girlfriend or wife says “ if anything happens to me…. I want you to meet someone new.”
“Anything” doesn’t include getting stuck in traffic.
Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.
They shake! Bwahahahahaha
I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend, but I was too self conscious to say hello.
There was just too much history between us.
One says to the other, "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there".
1. 2. 3.
I had to put my foot down