Because they make the toys.
Nothing, they're already stuffed…
A reptile dysfunction!
Personally I’m on the fence.
Turns out she was only with me for my mussels
James Bond's doorbell
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn’t be affected.
Me: Dad, could you call my phone? I can’t find it. My dad: OH PHONE, WHERE ARE YOU?
The bartender says, "Sorry but you're gonna have to leave; we don't serve noble gases here." Helium does not react
I wish I had never put it on.
Son up to son down.
They're both cauldron.
She's an essential oil worker now.
It writes other words too
He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash. As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too. The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide. The dentist got close enough & said, "Man did you have a 69 before you came here?" Kevin, shocked says, "Why, No! Does my breath smell like pussy?" The dentist says, "No, but your forehead smells like ass!!!"
I mean, he killed the leader of the Nazi party for god sakes.
…but the cashier always keeps putting it back!
I hope you're happy now
I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer
I don’t do drugs
She replied, “Yes, it is and don’t call me Shirley!” I guess I left my phone in Airplane mode again…
Because you can't beat a royal flush.
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied "1956, ma'am." The woman, in disbelief, said "1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better." The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour. Afterwards, the woman cuddled up to the general and said "Well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956…" The general looked at her, confused, and replied "I sure hope not, it's only 2130 now."
it's where I flip your MOM over
During the wedding party, his friends ask him, “How’d you land someone that young?” “It’s simple,” said the billionaire, “I faked my age!” “I mean, I’m 43, and there’s no way I could land her!”, a friend exclaims. “What age did you tell her you were?” Smiling mischievously, the billionaire responds, “85 years old.”
My mum used to tell me fairy stories with a happy ending. Just one of the benefits of having a masseuse as a parent I guess.
So i packed my stuff and right.
Not screaming like the passengers in the car.
Too much paperwork.
A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange. The man looks healthy enough, dressed well, clean shaven, etc., but when the doctor asks him to pull down his pants, sure enough, his penis is bright orange! The doctor has never seen a case like this before, so he begins to a full work-up on the patient. His temperature is good, his blood pressure is fine, blood tests come back normal… so the doctor says to the guy, "Everything physically appears fine with you. Let's discuss your lifestyle… tell me about your average day? Is it stressful?" The guy replies, "Not stressful at all, doc. See, I was born into money, I have never worked a day in my life. I have all I need; multiple homes and cars, beautiful art, women on my arm at any time, nothing is stressful! I literally just sit around all day, watching porn and eating Cheetos…"
But this is as close as I could get
They're just trying to fill a hole.