EDIT: tools …stupid keyboard…
“No idea, they just ransomware.”
"In these troubled times, the steaks have never been higher."
One got pissed off.
a waist of paper
When it's fully groan.
and holds up two fingers exclaiming "Five beers please!"…
He wants to become a web designer.
"I wonder when my prints will come…"
They’re inconsistent seas.
Runs until Friday.
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?" Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back." "That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" Johnny said: "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
So I packed up my bags and right
Man: I th.. Officer: Yes? Man: The reas.. Officer: Go on. Man: May I please finish my sentence? Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
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Ok, it's not that funny, only a 3 star joke
It goes back four seconds.
Now I'm feeling cannelloni
Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife. Waiter: Rare it is.
Yes we arson
Then I had a change of heart
Man “I hate the world and everyone in it. I have no patience for it. It’s starting to make me sick”. Wife: “what do you think about me?”
Man: "oh you mean the world to me, darling".
Give a man a bank and he’ll rob the world.
They weren't ready to face the Khansequences.
but then I started to see the signs
He’ll be born in February.
… and bought a bottle of whisky. I put the bottle in the bike basket but before riding back I thought: what if I fall down for some reason? The bottle will break! So I drank the whole bottle of whisky before riding home. And thank God I did, because I must have fallen down about a dozen times before I got home.
Well, if I were to disappoint two people at same time I'd go for a dinner with my parents edit: im sorry everyone for the notification stuff and all. like i mentioned in the comment, i heard this one in the bus, english isn't my native and tried to translate it from my language, i'm not on r/jokes really often, sorry!
A: she would never accede a minnow fan! @SwiftOnSecurity