MonkeyUser – Edge Cases
We have hit 20,000 members! Thank you all!
Firstly I’d like to thank each and every one of you who had joined this subreddit. This subreddit full of memes that I, myself, don’t even understand. 20000 people, that’s just… wow!It is an honour to serve this community and every single one of you members, new or old.Secondly I’d like to say how activity in this subreddit has been at an all time high, we are getting more posts than ever, of course that means more reposts, and posts that break other rules that our subreddit has, but on behalf of the moderation team, I’m here to assure you that we have you covered, we want to make sure you only get the highest quality posts when you look at r/sciencememes.I hope to see you again when we hit our next major milestone.If you ever need me, or any other of the moderation team feel free to use ModMail, if you see a post or comment breaking the rules, don’t be afraid to report them.🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
I used to think toking weed and snorting lines of coke made me a cool guy
but it was all just smoke and mirrors.
what happens when the pope dies?
another popes up
What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do on his free time?
He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
An Englishman, an American and a Scotsman wander in the desert
After a long while they encounter a huge wall. They try to go around it, over it, but the wall is too high and too long. Out of nowhere, a genie appears. The genie sais: "You must all tell a lie in order to break this wall. The greater the lie, the greater the damage. But beware, each one of you only has one try." The men sink into deep thinking state. After hours of thinking, the Englishman begins: "Us, the english gentlemen, never drink tea with milk." The wall cracks. The American adds: "Us, the american gentlemen never smoke stogies after a hard day of work." Again, the wall cracks. Now all left up to the Scotsman, he takes a deep breath and starts: "Us, the scottish gentlemen-" The wall shatters.
Dad jokes
But usually he's pretty serious
I saw 2 men in matching outfits I asked them if they were gay
They arrested me
Congratulations, r/Jokes! You are now featured as the most eco friendly subreddit of 2019!
Why? Because everything here is recycled. To everyone on r/Jokes, thank you so much for doing your part in saving the environment!
My daughter just dropped a dad joke that made me super proud.
We're celebrating my daughter's 4th birthday party today. She puts her giant number 4 balloon on her head, turns to me and says "Look daddy, it's a four-head!"
When I am on my death bed surrounded by my friends and family my final words will be
"You guys want to see a dead body?"
My wife always takes a run right after we have sex
Some people… You give them an inch and they take a mile
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
…but his brother Frank was a monster.
Dads are like boomerangs
I hope
an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation.
an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
You put a nipple on it
I just bought two fish I called one one and the other two…
So then when one dies I'll still have two
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
Its very time consuming.
Sometimes I go out and commit crimes
Just to feel wanted
A woman meets Syd the Stud in a bar.
They talk. They connect. They end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft,sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf,and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, She is quite impressed by his sensitive side but doesn’t mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?’ She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other’s clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well,how was it?’ The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says… . . . . . . . . . "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf"
I gave away my empty batteries.
They were free of charge!
-Doctor, ive tried everything to find love but it just wont work, what else can i do?
-Have you tried shaving your mustache? -No -Well you should, Karen.
BK’s new commercial is questionable at best (I am never eating there again)
BK’s new commercial is questionable at best (I am never eating there again)
My chem teacher actually makes quality memes. We’re learning about bonding types.
https://ift.tt/39owHQm
The snow yeti stopped doing sas-squats and started doing sit ups.
Now he's the Abdominal Snowman.
If I had a nickel every time I was confused
I’d be like, where the fuck do all these nickels keep coming from?
It’s very rare that a defibrillator fails.
But when it happens no one is shocked.
![Everything is terrible. [OC]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Ku1LmY1-400x400.jpg)
Did you hear about the burglary at the detergent factory?
The thief made a clean getaway
Wendy’s does damage control… and brainstorms the possibilities..
Wendy’s does damage control… and brainstorms the possibilities..
My daughter pointed at a spear and said “daddy look it’s sharp”
I replied with “that’s the point”
The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
Now I have stable wifi.
Lost my watch at a party once. I saw a guy step on it while harassing a girl. I walked up and punched him straight in the nose.
Nobody does that to a girl, not on my watch.
My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour…
I said, “Wait, I can change!”
I absolutely hate elevators…….
I take steps to avoid them
Did you hear they changed the font of alphabet soup?
Now it is Times New Ramen