My dad used to get shot from a cannon at the circus. When he retired they had to close the show.
They couldn't find another man of his caliber.
…She's definitely a keeper! EDIT: This is the first joke I make up myself as a non-native speaker. I'm proud.
Vehicular man’s laughter.
who's there? The electrician to fix your doorbell
The shower gets turned on.
I asked my 32 brothers and sisters, but they didn't know either.
As a part of their job, executioners are not allowed to high five their victims before executing them.
It’s their job to leave them hanging.
They were cooked in Greece.
But for me, it just ruins the pineapple juice.
They were free of charge!
Because they are filled with anty bodies.
The lunch bag of Notre Dame
It’s the only time I’m ever wanted
Husband, with tears of joy going down his face: Hi I’m pregnant. We’re going to have our first kid, I’m dad
It wasn't fully groan
Cole's law is basically just cabbage.
But "enjoy your next 24 hours" sounds threatening.
Fine. Suit yourself
He sits down and orders 3 beers. “You know, you don’t have to order these all at once – I’m happy to make them fresh,” says the bartender. “Oh no, ya see,” replies the Irishman, “the extras are for me two brothers back in Ireland. We all order 3 beers so it feels like we’re drinkin together,” and he chugs them all down. Every day for months, the Irishman comes in and does the same thing, until one day he orders only two beers. The bartender’s heart sinks, knowing the Irishman must have lost one of his brothers. “Im so sorry,” he says, “did one of your brothers pass?” “Of course not, they’re fine!” says the Irishman, “I’ve just quit drinkin!”
Around the world in eighty days.
All the fans left
I guess you could say it was bread in captivity
Me: I wish I had a tail. Genje: Wejrd but okay.
Then it dawned on me
I barely qualify.
You put a little boogie in it.
Aisle B, back!
So when they come back to port, they can scandanavian
A soldier ran up to a nun, Out of breath he asked: "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police officer ran up and asked: "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied: "He went that way." After the Military Police officers ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said: "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to war to Iraq." The nun said: "I understand completely." The soldier added: "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied: "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls… I don't want to go to Iraq either!