My friend said, “I’ll never buy from a store that assigns genders to kids’ beds!”
I said, “Boycott?”
Him: That’s what I mean.
Ha! I just foiled your plan!
After he climbed out he handed me the dog and said "here is ze dog, keep him varm and dry him off he vill be fine", I said "are you a vet?", He replied "vet? I'm fucking soaking!"
the bartender asks the guy, "What's up bud? You look rough." "Well," says the man, "I just found out my dad is gay and he's left my mom for some pool boy." "Ouch," says the bartender, "here, these are on the house today." A few days later the same guy comes in and orders another five shots. "Oh no man, what happened this time?" The bartender asks. "Just found out my brother is gay, he's left his wife for a man he met at a gay bar last week." "I'm sorry man," the bartender says, "these are on the house." Just one week later the guy comes in again and orders ten shots. The bartender asks, "Man! Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The guy responds, "Yeah…my wife."
Sometimes, he laughs!
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring. On the other hand, you don’t.
Frenchman: "This one is called Un, this one Deux, this one Trois, Quatre, Six, Se–" Tourist: "Hold on, why is there no number 5?" Frenchman: "It Cinq"
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent
He pasta way.
I saw a lizard with angry red skin. It then turned orange! Then it turned yellow. Then green. Then blue. Then indigo, until it finally became a relaxing shade of violet.
Calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon.
And then they call me ugly and poor.
Take off the ring and your house is gone
You just have to have a feel for it.
Because he has herd them all.
It May, Fri 10 you
The length of the pause.
She said “yes, the others were at least eights or nines”
He was outstanding in his field.
She said she had lost an envelope with her tax refund inside. I gave her 100$ because I had just found about $1600 in the parking lot. payitforward
In the English language, the word “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis” has the most number of syllables at 19.
This narrowly beats out the runner-up, "Gloria" (18 syllables). Source: Catholic Exchange Note: full disclosure, I heard this absolutely glorious (hah!) joke years ago, but when I was retelling it earlier thought of another way to set it up. It's just a grand coincidence that that word in the OP I can barely understand had only one more syllable than "Gloria".
No text found
I’m 22 to say it.
.. There's usually an Irishman & Englishman in this joke but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.
I dont know why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him?
She said she just can't take it any longer.