My friend says to me “What rhymes with banana?”
And I told him "No it doesn't"
You can’t tuna fish
She must be really rubbing her hands together now!
An Overweight Time Traveler goes to ancient rome and realizes he wore historically incorrect clothes for the trip. Realizing his mistake he visits a toga shop to purchase new clothes. He looks around the shop and realizes they do not have togas big enough to fit him. He goes to the counter and asks the clerk: Time traveler: Do you have XL togas? Clerk: Well, yes. But why do you need so many?
Blunt force trauma.
just give them a fridge, and watch their face light up as they open it.
You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence.
A man that states the obvious
No text found
It was lit
One gay man says to the other "Hey you want to join the mile high club right here?" The other gay man replied "Here? We will get caught!" The first man smiles and says "Relax everyone is asleep. Watch" he then stands up and says "Does anyone have a pencil?" To which he recieves no response. This is enough for the other gay man who stands up and gets behind the man at which point they have sex. A few hours later a flight attendant walking down the down the aisle see an old man who has thrown up all over himself. She asks the man "Sir why didn't you ask for a vomit bag?" To which the old man replied "Well the last guy asked for a pencil and he got fucked in the ass"
A witch is waiting for me at home
She replied, "Aisle B, back!"
I hope you’re happy now.
Wife: How? Lawyer: I’m not sure, but he has 2000 DVDs of the movie for some reason.
I was having a bad day so I bought a bottle of vodka,gin and whisky and put them in an elevator and sent them to the top floor. Didn’t have a good reason,
Just needed something to lift my spirits
The Englishman admires it and says "Look at them, calm, reserved, and proper, they were surely English." The Frenchmen laughs and replies "They are naked and beautiful, there is no doubt they would be French." The Russian slowly shakes his head "No clothes, no house, no possessions, they have only an apple to eat, and they are told this is paradise. My friends, they are definitely Russian."
When he was finished, he said to the farmer, "That's all fifty sheep!" Confused, the farmer said, "But I only have forty-eight sheep." The sheepdog replied, "I know. I rounded them up!" courtesy of my desktop dog calendar I got last xmas
Not screaming like the people in the back of his car.
There is no menu. You get what you deserve.
Because Putin is not a woman.
You might have dyslexia.
Because of their antybodies
Then it grew on me.
She turned on the front camera
Aisle B, Back