My i3 is working hard
If you commit 90 sins, you will get caught about half the time.
Because sin90 = cot45
My father’s name is Lee. My name is Riley.
As a kid, if I ever said the word “apparently”, he would interrupt to shout “A Son Riley!”
Can’t imagine someone not understanding what erectile dysfunction is
I mean, it's not very hard.
Sheepdog: Yep, that’s 40 sheep there. Farmer: What, there should be only 37?
Sheepdog: Hey, I rounded them up!
When the documentation you are reading refers you to the documentation of another library
https://ift.tt/3cbyDNI
Is infinity odd or even?
Oddly enough, it's even. But even so, it's still an odd concept.
My son is so ungrateful,
I bought him a new trampoline for Christmas but all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
I just found out that my cousin with a stuttering problem died in prison.
He didn’t even finish his sentence.
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
I’ve often heard icy is the easiest word to spell.
Looking at it now, I see why.
I was so bored that I memorized 6 pages of the dictionary.
I learned next to nothing.
I didn’t eat anything other than brown bread for dinner…
That was my wholemeal…
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
A SpecTater.
Me: Can you help me get over my gambling addiction?
Therapist: You bet. Me: Yes, that’s why I asked.
What does James Bond do before he goes to bed?
He goes undercover
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What does a Jew do to his coffee?
Hebrews it.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles…. I’m not sorry.
A man Has died, WE NEED to Pump MORE FACEBOOK into him. I don’t understand this.
https://ift.tt/35u2JYe
What do chess and eating at a restaurant in Australia have in common?
They both end with a check mate
I think my neighbor might be stalking me.
She's googled my name a few times, I saw it through my telescope last night
What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
Nothing…. it just let out a little wine.
My teacher never farts in public.
She’s a private tutor.
There was a toilet stolen from the police station…
They have nothing to go on My dad texted this to me today
I don’t get people who call it a first world problem when they can’t charge their phones
African kids can't charge their phones either.
The inventor of the throat lozenge has died.
There will be no coffin at his funeral…
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road…
rolls around in the dirt and cross back? A dirty double crosser.
my wife asked me why i type everything in lower case.
i said i stopped giving a shift.
My son got me good. I build websites for a living. He told me he didn’t like the one I was working on, and I should have let a spider do it.
You know. “Cause spiders are naturally good web designers.”
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer
I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.