Let me know if you can't come
Just because I refused to work on a Sundae!
We ended up getting into a row.
My wife just called me and said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!”
I replied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
A lifetime ban from the petting zoo.
…but I stand corrected.
Quit shaking the ladder you little bastard!!!
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
That they're politicool… Im biased but i think its genius
We all know who’s making that decision
I haven’t heard from him since
People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones, but people in Abu-Dhabi-do! -Dad
Let's go ride bikes!
coz switches be trippin,
I said, “Yes, but I’m here to get whiskey instead.”
It’s really gotten out of hand.
when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles,grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother"
You push it.
But that was Ear-Elephant.
It’s hard to talk when you have 45 gummy bears stuffed in your mouth
So i packed up my stuff and right.
Moses. He could control sea.
“How are you mate?” “Yeah, I’m okay. But do me a favor mate. Go fetch my slippers from upstairs. My feet are freezing.” I went upstairs and found his two gorgeous 21-year-old twin daughters lying naked on the bed. I said “Your dad’s sent me up here to have sex with both of you. They respond “Get away with ya… Prove it.” I shouted downstairs “Hey, mate! Both of them?” He shouted back “Of course both of them! What’s the point in fucking one?”
So I let him drive it from time to time
It got stuck in a crack
Gabe raised his hand first. He said, "Predator." "Clever answer! They sure eat things!" The teacher told him. Next, Dylan raised his hand. "Oh! I know! Raptor!" "You are very smart! Raptors eat many different things," the teacher said. Then, little Timmy answered. "Vibrator!" The class went dead silent. The teacher told Timmy, "Um Timmy, I don't think vibrators eat things…" Timmy was confused. "Really? My sister told me it ate through batteries like crazy!"
…and starts looking for some work in an up-scale neighborhood nearby. He goes to the front door of the nearest house and asks the owner, if he had any odd jobs for him to do. “Well, you can paint my porch, how much will you charge?” the owner says. The Mexican responds, “How about $50?” The owner says “Fine, there’s a can of brown paint and brushes in the garage.” The owner’s wife, inside the house, overhearing the conversation asks her husband, “Does he realize that the porch goes all around the house? That’s a whole day’s job!!” The man replies, “He should; he was standing on it. Not my problem if he didn’t pay attention.” A short time later, the Mexican comes to the door and asks for the $50. “You’ve finished already?” the husband asks. “Yes,” he replies, “and there was paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reaches into his pocket for the money and hands it to him. “And by the way,” the Mexican adds, “it’s not a Porsche, it’s BMW"
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
He gets hammered.
But everyone keeps saying it's private
Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.