My name is David and I had my ID stolen the other day.
Now they just call me Dav.
All I wanted was one night stand.
The girl replied, “Thanks for the Baghdad”
V Edit: my CTRL key broke
Because you're 10/10.
It was a piece of cake 🍰!!! 😂
She must be homeless..
But everyone keeps saying it's private
Because in Java, everything are Objects.
I hope you're happy now
One will see you later and the other will see you in a while
Just the other day I woke up to my beautiful and loving wife holding a pillow tightly over my face to protect me from the coronavirus.
and I lost my job as a bus driver.
So my Mom explained that was silly, because they're much more scared of me.
…where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
Me: Well I don't know about that, but I'll give Bohemian Rhapsody a try.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom..
"I want you to try to sell this to me." So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home. Eventually he called me and said "Bring my laptop back here right now!" I said "$200 and it's yours."
It's called "wedding cake."
We are strictly a Bing family.
No one is willing to do it.
There was a lot of Cross referencing.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel…
It’s all about raisin awareness
Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily. Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights. Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program. One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor. As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0. The next day, the headline on the local sports section read: No Offense, Nun Taken
The word "ma" can mean either "mother" or "horse", depending on the tone you use. This can get you into all sorts of embarrassing situations. Like the time I inadvertently asked a man if it was okay to fuck his mother.