My neighbor and I are good friends. So we thought we share our water supply.
We got a long well.
it was two-tired
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Because no one wants a blowjob from a girl when her teeth are chattering.
"Saved For Later"
Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.
I mean, he killed the leader of the Nazi party for god sakes.
Boss said it was because I had no filter
Bartender says "What can I get for you Mr. President?"
My son wanted some girl advice, so I told him, “If you are intimidated by a date, remember one thing.”
They are just big raisins.
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A dwarf walks into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass. The madam asks how she can help him. He says "I need a woman for mine has left me." The madam says "Whatever for? And what are the honeycomb and jackass for?" The dwarf says, "my wife found a genie that could grant her three wishes. For the first wish she asked for a house fit for a queen, so he gave her this honeycomb, the second wish she asked for the nicest ass in all the land, so he gave her this Jackass. The madam then asks "what about the third wish?" "She asked the genie for my cock to hang down past my knee." "That's not so bad." "Not so bad?" Spluttered the dwarf "I used to be 6 foot 3!"
It was a salt and peppery.
She is so wrong so I told her to check my history. My last post here says otherwise.
Dad: what should I say instead bull- Wife: Shhh!!! Say snake instead. Dad: [whispers] this is snakeshit
the shower gets turned on.
But most just have 4.
Little Johnny and his parents decided to spent the day at the beach. He goes off to play in the sand only to return a few moments later. "Mom why are some women's breasts bigger than others?" To which his mom replied. "The women with bigger breasts are more silly" satisfied with this answer he goes off to play for a while longer. Later the boy asks why some men's penises are bigger than others, his mom tells him "Men with bigger penises are dumber" once again content Johnny goes off to play again. A while later he returns with a grin on his face and tells his mom, "Hey Mom Dad is talking to the silliest girl here and he just keeps getting dumber and dumber"
"Don't worry," said the doctor. "Those are just contractions."
I would probably only drive it from time to time
Sometimes he laughs
So after a while I decided to give it another try, and it wasn’t half bad. I guess I got off on the wrong foot