My Russian friend is tired of the portrayal of his country in the media
And I’m not getting any straight answers.
When it's fully groan.
Sometimes, he laughs!
So instead, a sub Reddit.
Blue and Yellow combined
She wanted to see the task manager
Nothing, it stands for nothing.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Because its eeleagle.
That would have been real crumby.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said “It’s going to rain”. His wife asked “how do you know?”
"Because rudolph the red knows rain, dear"
A polar bear
nothing….. they were just hanging….
But it’s harder to deter gents
I was walking down main street and there was a homeless man with a signt hat said “1 dollar for dirty joke.”
Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar. Homeless man: “Alright sir whats your name? Me: “Username-valid ” Homeless man: “So username-valid, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have” Me: “two?” Homeless man: “Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?” Me: “two?” Homeless man: “Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?” Me: “two?” Homeless man: “Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?" Me: “I don’t know? A lot?” Homeless man: “Well username-valid, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy.”
I thought to myself, “now that’s a little condescending”
She's very appreciative of our commitment to recycling jokes.
I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.
A foot truck!
But I've never met herbivore
No text found
2020, 24 hours to go…
GF: A shoe! Me: Bless you Was pretty proud of myself for a couple minutes.
It doesn't work all the time though, I just can't put my finger on it.
There's only two of us working here so I have to make every second count.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armor…
And everything is fine because they aren't assholes.
Captain Hook bought his hook from a second hand store.
I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long pole. He hates it.
It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.
In the shower they notice that there are no soap. One of them says "Il go to my room and bring 2 soap bars" runs naked to the room, grabs 2 bars of soap and when he was running back… 3 nuns show up, first thing he remembers to do "freezes like a statue".. Nuns look at the statue and say "Such a beautiful figure, perfectly shaped" One of them, looking to the priest's "toy soldier" decides do pull it…. The priest's reaction to the enormous pain makes him drop one of the soap bars The nun concludes then, that it is no statue…. It actually is a soap machine!! The second nun happily does exactly the same and the priest drops the second bar of soap! The third nun pulls it once…. Nothing… Pulls it twice….. Nothing…. Pulls it thrice…. Nothing… Pulls it again and again and again…. And finnaly marveled she says: "Lord be praised… It also gives shower gel!!"
…it made a bolt for the door.