My son called me a simp, after I googled what it meant, I said
then you're a simpson.
He sees a black man sitting casually at the side, and is disgusted by the sight of him. He then waves to the bartender and says, "I'd like to order a beer for everyone here except the black guy." As everyone else is treated to a beer, he looks back at the black man in hopes of getting a reaction out of him. The black man still sits casually, this time with a smile on his face. Confused and annoyed, the racist man waves again to the bartender and says, "another round for everyone except that same man." As everyone else enjoys their second beer, the racist man looks back again at the black man, who is still smiling. visibly angered, the racist man calls the bartender over a third time and orders a another round of beer for everyone except the black man. He then looks at the black man one more time, and sees him laughing. Furious, he rushes back to the bartender, points at the black man and asks, "Okay, what the hell is up with this guy?" The bartender then replies, "Oh, you didn't know? He owns this place."
She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
By removing the S.
They shake! Bwahahahahaha
The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.
Like getting up early to go to work.
I'll meat you in the middle.
Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint
You have $400, your daughter text she needs $200, and your son text he needs $150. How much do you have left?
Me: $400 and 2 unread messages.
Those dudes are royal AF
Cuz you’re blocking the TV
After a particularly nasty one, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started. The professor got wind of this, so the following day, he walked in and said, “Class, did you hear about the shortage of whores in India?” all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies!” cried the professor. “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
I never get a straight answer.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife
So I asked him how much it costs and whether or not it works.
The correct term is turd-world countries.
Me: Wait, I can explain everything!
If it sinks, it’s a girl ant. If it floats, it’s buoyant.
why don't skeletons go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with haha
Him : I’m a programmer Her : Never mindProgrammersNeverSleep
Now she's a shovel
Zero school shootings so far this year.
He finishes his drink and asks for the check. Duck billed Platypus.