My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.
The N’s justify the means.
I wrote an apology in morse code
I call it the remorse code
“I heard you slept with my woman,” said this guy in the pub.
"You've got the wrong person," I replied. "So you didn't sleep with her?" "No, I did. I'm just saying you need a new girlfriend."
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep attacking him.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure-bread.
The problem with Trump jokes:
Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
Will glass coffins be popular some day?
Remains to be seen.
I accidentally clicked on a pop-up link that said, “Free Justin Bieber tickets inside!”
Thankfully it was just a virus.
I was really embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set. So I quickly threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
What so you call a letter with no friends?
Post Alone
I have a Russian friend who’s a sound technician.
And a Czech one too. And a Czech one too.
I would post a joke about Buddhism
But I don’t have enough karma
How do you clean up after a spitroast sex?
With 2-in-1 shampoo.
Did you hear about the short psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large
If I had to rate our solar system,
I'd give it one star.
My wife laughed when I said I had the body of a 20 year old
Then she looked in the freezer
Why did an old man fall into a well?
Because he couldn't see that well
Great Aunt shared this on Facebook, thought someone here might be able to decipher?
https://ift.tt/2VfhPh8
Why don’t keyboards sleep.
They have two shifts.
I hate Russian dolls
They’re so full of themselves
I was about to play cards after a long day’s work, but I found the aces missing.
I just can’t deal with this any more.
Why did the hipster fall in the lake?
He went ice skating before it was cool.
When i was a young boy my mom would always tuck me in,
She really wanted a daughter.
I saw a bunch of guys in black leather jackets crowded around under some trees
It seemed very shady.
I sell balloons for $1 each, or if you want them blown up it’s $1.20.
I’ve adjusted the price to allow for inflation.
What do you call a participation trophy in astronomy?
A constellation prize.
If you got bladder problems…
urine trouble.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Cause they’re dead