My wife said she is leaving on account of my sexual fetishes
I said fine! slam the door on my cock on the way out
Coding in binary takes a lot of effort.
You have to do it bit by bit.
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.
So i took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
My girlfriend is a half-Korean
Her mom is Korean and her dad is Korean and her legs got ripped off in a car accident.
Why don’t hamburger buns ever get along?
There's always beef between them.
What’s a group of chubby newborns called?
Heavy infantry
Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen.
I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news that JFK was shot.
7th grade World history class.
Son: *having a heart attack* dad, call me an ambulance
Dad: okay, you're an ambulance
I slipped on my wife’s bra today…
It was a booby trap
R Kelly is really changing the rap game
He takes the art out of rap artist
How do you get an old lady to say the f word?
You get another old lady to say “Bingo.”
![[NSFW] Gore](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/31nt0ypd84441-400x602.jpg)
They told me I wouldn’t be any good at poetry because I was dyslexic
But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely
My horse has insomnia and keeps every one awake.
She's a nightmare
What haunts a chicken coop?
Poultrygeist
Who is Stan?
And how did he get so many countries named after him?
I don’t often tell dad jokes
But when I do, he usually laughs
A lemonade seller and the businessman.
A lemonade seller was standing in the hot sun selling lemonade. A customer, who is a businessman approached him and asked him the prices. "$3 for a full glass, $30 for 5 empty ones." Astonished, the businessman asks him, "What is that supposed to mean?" The seller remained silent. After giving it a thought for a while, the customer bought 5 full glasses of lemonade, giving the seller $15 (3×5). He drank all of them quickly and showed the seller 5 empty glasses, "I got 5 empty glasses only for $15, though the cost is $30. You see, what dirty tricks we businessmen are capable of!" The poor lemonade seller says, "Sir, I am an entrepreneur. You see I made you buy 5 glasses for no reason at all?" Edit : Ignore bad grammar please.
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife….
when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles,grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother"
I’ve been telling people about the benefits of dried grapes.
It's about raisin awareness.
…
My life…
My obese parrot died..
It was sad, but it was a huge weight off my shoulders..
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
2 guys were eating breakfast together
"Do you want some of my bacon?" "No thanks I'm Jewish" "Don't worry it's free"
I was sexually active at 12
It’s now 12:15 and my arm is killing me.
Somebody broke into my house and stole my limbo stick!
I mean… how low can you get!
Give ‘em the punchline first!
How do you tell a good joke about time travel?
My son came out as transgender
So that makes me…. transparent
A four-foot-tall fourtuneteller escaped from prison.
He was a small medium at large.
Tetris is a good game
In fact, you could even say it was a blockbuster
How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
All the red flags.
