No caption needed
Well, after 10 years your Job still sucks.
“on what day will I die?” The fortune teller assured him that he would die on a Jewish holiday. “Why are you so sure of that?” demanded Hitler. “Any day”, she replied, “on which you die will be a Jewish holiday”.
He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I’m off to New York. I read that prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free.” Later, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. “Where are you going?” she asks. “I’m coming with you. I want to see how you live on $800 a year.”
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
A good swearitan.
She walked up to him and said this isn’t working out.
With great power comes great electricity bills
No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with ‘If elected, I promise…’
Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.
A blast from the past
On the upside, it’s buttered. But on the downside, it’s not.
Now she's mad at me because we can't read it anymore
Solo that no one will hear me
For Christmas morning, I’m going to make Eggs Benedict, and I’m going to serve them on hubcaps from a 1962 Ford…
…because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
Because every time I cut one down I keep a log.
The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for 160 days, proving the country does not belong to China.
Because nothing made in China has ever lasted more than a week.
Chances are he Israelite
The way they pronounce unionized
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home, it fucks all the farmers 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens. Next day, it’s fucking the geese and the ducks too. Sadly, later in the day he finds the cock lying on the ground half dead and vultures circling overhead. The farmer says, " You deserved it, you horny bastard!" The cock opens one eye, points up and says, "Shhhhhh! They are about to land!"
They must all be inside jokes.
Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
Did you know the population of Ireland is growing at a faster rate than any other country in the world?
It’s capital has been Dublin every year.
I avoid meet
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works. 😀
John came fifth and won a toaster.