NO GEN Z ALLOWED, THIS IS OFFICIALLY real crafter hours
A 65 year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?!!!! " The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could open the jar."
I said, "Sorry I'm late." They said, "You're hired"
Because its cheaper
I was staring at her tits, and she said, "Could you please press one." So I did.
He can't sweat, but he pants.
But it’s up there.
It’s my Heath Ledger.
Randolf the brown nosed reindeer, he can run as fast as Rudolf, he just can't stop as quick.
It was a nice jester.
There'd be mass confusion.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
It dampens theirs spirits.
But everyone keeps saying it's private
“I can’t believe that you’ve been visiting prostitutes for sex,” my wife screamed at me. “I’m really disappointed.”
“You can hardly blame me,” I answered. “It’s not like I was getting any from you.” “Well that’s your fault,” she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it.”
Tom: holding a cup Do it to my tea! Magician: waves hand Done! om: holding a cup It didn't work
I said , “it’s a big decision, I need to sleep on it”.
I’m not joking, but he is.
Please upvote because I want to remove every spot from this house
They kill dogs
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes’ wife is beginning to deliver the baby
The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. "Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I…" Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You have a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter." "Thanks be to…" Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctor holds up the baby for Mike's inspection. "Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?
I call it my jingle bell rock.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.