But does anyone know where the Minneapolis Edit: some of us don't spend our lives on r/jokes and as such don't realise things are reposts.
He didn't listen though.
In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.
Scientists’ initial findings on the new substance had lead them to believe it was highly explosive, however they simply could not determine what forces were to trigger this reaction. They dropped it from the highest cliffs, and crushed it in the deepest oceans. They tried igniting in it the sunniest of locations, and in the darkest of crevasses. They subject it to the hottest temperatures they could muster, both natural and manmade. And yet, the material was unwavering, refusing to yield to any force…until a scientist suggested the impossible. “What if it only explodes when it’s really cold?” Out they set to test the theory. Sure enough, as the temperature grew ever colder, the element began to show signs of degradation. Excitedly, they began pushing the temperatures even further into the freezing zone. As the temperatures reached nearer and nearer to 0 Kelvin (absolute cold), the element continued to increasingly react. Finally, when the temperature reached approximately that of 0 K, there was a blinding flash as the element exploded before their eyes, leaving a gaping hole on the laboratory bench. As the applause from the team of scientists began to die down, relieved of finally solving the mystery, one of the senior scientists boldly asked, “so what do we name this newfound element?”. Amongst the thought that ensued, one of the younger scientists was quick to make a suggestion… “0 K Boomer”
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
I was almost productive for a second there!
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
I went to return it and they gave me another one free of charge.
Studies have proven that people who have more of them live longer.
I wasn't very happy but left without making a scene.
So I added some fruit and lemonade to it, and now she sangria than ever.
I’m more of a so-sopath.
I said: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them!”
Christmas is coming
"DAD, please don…." "That's the spirit."
Judge: "Repeat infractions?" Me: "Ok, 3/5 of my parking tickets are bogus!"
I'm on season six, I don't know what it has to do with security though.
-Which one of you fucked my wife??!! Some guy in the crowd says: – you should bring more bullets
It's about Time!
Because its days are numbered
Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him
He could sense his presents.
I think I might be a heroine addict.
Their words, not mine
She told me, "Probably just some yogurt." Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I don't ejaculate yogurt.
But he never laughs at any of them.
A crusty old man walks into the local Lutheran Church and says to the secretary, “I would like to join this damn church.”
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." And with that said, the secretary leaves her desk and walks into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money." "I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
GF: Really? Me: Yes. George Foreman: How so?
Wife: I'm pregnant. Dad: Hi pregnant, I'm dad. Wife: No you're not.
it's all about raisin awareness