“No one under FBI investigation should be able to run for president!” – Trump, 2016
Because that's his name.
A roamin’ Catholic…
Cucumber, pickel and a penis meet at a bar. The cucumber says, man my life really sucks! Whenever I get big, fat and juciy, someones going to cut me up and put me in a salad! The pickel says, you think you have it bad, when I got big, fat and juicy, someone poured vinegar and spices on me and threw me in a jar! The penis glaired at both of them and said, you assholes think you have it bad? Whenever I get big fat and juicy someone puts a rubber trap over my head, sticks me in a dark room and bangs my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!!
It only takes one nail to hang a picture
Must be the high Mercury content.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
However, the teacher looked at the student with an arrogant face and said: 'A swan shan't be friends with a pig.' 'Then I shall fly on,' answered the student with a smile. The teacher was clearly vexed by the cheeky reply and decided to make sure to do everything in his power to fail the student at the exams. At the oral exam, he gave the student the hardest questions, but the student had amazing answers for everything. Therefore, hoping he could still fail his victim, the teacher asked him a trickier question: 'You're walking on a road and you find two bags. One contains gold, the other cleverness. Which bag do you choose?' 'The gold.' 'Unfortunately, I don't agree. I'd choose cleverness, because that's more important than money.' 'Everyone would choose what they don't have,' says the student. The teacher turns red, and he's so angry he writes "ass" on the student's paper. The student leaves without looking at the paper. However, he returns shortly, gives back his paper and says: 'Excuse me sir, you did sign my paper, but you forgot to give my grade!'
They sometimes get elected.
A Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex
Dad: No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
She seemed surprised.
Finally he decided on Carlos and ran away to Mexico.
I was shocked but he wasn't
A happy, hollow ween!
She didn't really appreciate the sketch and threw it away…
It had an irrational fear of ping pong balls.
"We need more lemon pledge"
Butane, because it's lighter fluid…
it's the thot that counts.