She looked surprised
They’re all backstabbers
… so that’s odd.
I have a complex complex complex
You stalk it.
So I'm off to the paint store since everyone seems to get thinner here.
It was obvious that she thought her cat could understand her. I came to my house and told my dog. We laughed a lot.
Doc: "Are you sure?" Me: "…I'm Definite."
But when I do, he usually laughs.
Restaurant in peace.
but I saw right through it.
Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.
And to hell with anyone who doesn’t believe me.
Because they have no body to go with.
Me: Has autoimmune diseaseMy immune system: Im gonna do what’s called a pro gamer move
Number one, and number two
He was actually fired
Everyone went down on her
It's easy, I just sleep during the nights. *(disclaimer — this dadjoke was delivered deadpan by my daughter. She is truly becoming a master)
Me: sipping toast Why?
Nobody expects the Spanish in position
The title says it all.