But hay, it’s in my jeans.
It might seem judgemental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
By shredding brown crayon and putting it in a blender with milk!
Cockroaches are found to be capable in surviving a nuclear holocaust, but if you swat it with a newspaper it would die instantly
This shows how toxic the media is
I fear the wurst.
Because he pities the fuel.
It's more difficult to deter gents though
But let me give it a shot.
Asbestos they can!
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
Smelmop Smelmop Who?
but it needs some work
I said, “Nah, it’s probably womb temperature.”
He got a Nobel prize.
When all of the sudden in the midst of a paticularly moving segment, he hears a loud, uproarious sneeze coming from amongst the crowd. Stalin stops speaking, glares at the soldiers, becomes very visibly annoyed, and says "Who sneezed?…" All of the soldiers don't say anything, some of them start to sweat and others nervously glance around. After a brief moment Stalin motions towards a few soldiers with him on the stage. "Execute the first row…" he commands, and the soldiers on stage begin opening fire at the first row of troops on the ground. "I'll ask again, who sneezed?" says Stalin. Another pause, and no one speaks up. Finally Stalin says "Execute the…" but before he can finish, a soldier about 4 rows back raises his hand and says "It was me General Secretary Stalin! I'm the one who sneezed." Stalin then stares cold and hard at the soldier who spoke up for an uncomfortable amount of time, before he leans towards his microphone and says "Bless you."
Because they are neigh-sayers
Once with her and 9 in the shower trying to wash it off
He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn’t reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we’ll get an idea about the severity of her deafness.” Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off standing about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping up some chicken and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks loudly, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” She replies, “For the fourth fuckin time, chicken!”
Because Monday is a weekday…
It was a risk I was willing to take.
You're still using fowl language.
He followed the enchanting voice till he came upon a singing yellowfin tuna. He knew he had found something incredible. He caught the fish, kept it alive and returned home. He showed his friends and posted videos on tik tok, and the singing fish went viral. It could sing almost anything, but Pavarotti was it's favorite. The fisherman toured around the world with the fish and set up a website to sell merch. The clothing he made sold like crazy, so he ordered thousands of short sleeve shirts to be made in advance. Unfortunately, the fish died, and the public lost interest. The fisherman was left with endless opera tuna tees.
A shitty joke.
To work on his pecks
He sold his soul to Santa.
You look for fresh prints.
It went up without any problems, but I was worried the whole time that it would insult me. because it was so offensive.
Deep down, I realized it wasn’t for me.
A four-chin teller.
As soon as I got him home he made a Bolt for the Door.
Or should I spread them apart?
To get to the idiots house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Bawk Bawk Bawkaw
BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT!