Kicked out of Sea World
But I didn't have to go because Iran
So one Nun can make sure that the other Nun doesn't get none.
I decided to let him sleep
I told my contractor I didn't want carpet on the steps. He gave me a blank stair.
it’s recommended to eat 3 squared meals a day
I said "Yes, but I'm going to get whiskey instead"
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
“You’re much bigger than that.”
It’s called a “Kilt” because I kilt the last man who called it a skirt. Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order. A lot of people wonder what a true Scotsman wears under his kilt, but don't ask him: he'll not tell ya, he'll show ya. In Scotland, we have mixed feelings about Global Warming. For even though we might lose some of our southern cities, at least we'll get to sit on the mountains and watch the English drown. 🙂
Now he’s just a handyman.
They stand before St. Peters at the pearly gates. St Peter asks the first nun: Have you ever touched a penis? The fist nun admit it: Yes, once, but only with the tip of my finger! St Peter then tell the nun: Ok, put your finger in that holy water, then I'll let you pass. He then asks the second: Have you ever touched a penis? The second one also adit: Yes, I masturbated a man once. St Peter seemed slightly disgusted, but then tells her to put her entire hand in the holy water before he allows her to pass. Sudenlly, the 4th nun goes crazy and yell: Please! Ask me that question before the nun in front of me!!!!! St Peter, confused, asks why. The 4th Nun replies: I really want to wash my mouth before she puts her ass in the holy water.
But I accidentally picked 7 up.
Cause truants don't go to school! (I came up with this right now)
You've seen the mall!
I got arrested for a salt!
Because you can’t see in the dark
Because they lost their Vision
Oh sorry, Havarti told you this one?
“Poor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
I have only my shelf to blame
Between you and me, something smells.