Noone else seems to be bothered by the unnecessary bottom panel
My friend claims that he can print a gun using his 3D printer, but I’m not impressed.
I have had a Canon printer for years.
I had $1,000 extra in my pay last month, this month I was $1,000 short. When I reported it to payroll they asked me why I didn’t say anything when I got paid too much.
I told them, I'll tolerate one mistake but not two.
What do you call a black guy flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist
My cousin who stutters was sentenced to 6 months in prison
That was two years ago, but he still hasn’t finished his sentence
What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
He let out a little wine.
I caught my husband coming to a brothel and I’m not sure what to do now.
On the one hand he is unfaithful, but on the other hand it was nice that he visited me at work.
I used to be addicted to not showering…
I’m proud to say I’m officially clean!
What do we want! Low flying aircraft noises!
When do we want them! Nooooooooooowwwwwwwwww
I take Viagra for my sun burn…
It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs when I sleep. Obligatory: Thank you for the silver and gold, kind strangers! My first awards ever.
Republicans must be flipping their shit over this blatant nepotism within our government!
https://ift.tt/37vjKDx
Hey girl, are you a Communist?
Because I feel an uprising in my lower classes.
A man goes into the confession booth and tells the priest,
“Father, I’m seventy-five years old and last night I made love to two twenty-year-old girls at the same time.” The priest says, “When did you last go to confession?” The man says, “I’ve never been to confession, Father. I’m Jewish.” The priest says, “Then why are you telling me?” The man says, “I’m telling everybody!”
Told my kids I’m allergic to prison…
My kids were discussing allergies at the dinner table. I told them I'm allergic to prison… because it always causes me to break out. Usually my dad jokes are met with awkward silence. This one however got a few legit chuckles. 😁
And you wonder why you’re stuck in the ER for 8 hours
And you wonder why you’re stuck in the ER for 8 hours
Someone stole my mood ring
Not sure how I feel about that
If you pour salt on a cat’s tail, it’ll fall off…
If you pour pepper on a cat's tail, it'll fall off, too.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
Do you wanna hear a ghost joke ?
that's the spirit.
If I had 5 dollars in one pocket and 5 dollars in the other what do I have?
Someone else's pants on. My grandfathers favorite joke.
My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes
It was the end of my Korea
4 beer company CEOs walk into a bar
The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light. The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light. The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light. The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke. The first three ask the CEO of Guinness why he didn't order a Guinness, to which he replied: "I figured if you 3 weren't ordering beer it would be rude for me to."
Do you want to know where I store all my dad jokes?
A dad-a-base