not just a bafflingly unfunny second caption, but a random date screenshotted alongside it
Helen Keller was truly an inspiration,
She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama
My parents are the funniest people in the world
They made a joke 21 years ago and people are still laughing at it.
They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket.
They lied, everyone else has clothes on.
Where can you find a turtle that has no legs?
Exactly where you left it.
Why does society seem to hate lazy people?
They didn't even do anything.
Why do space rocks taste better than earth rocks?
They’re a little meteor.
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?” The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
What color is the wind??
Blew!
“Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.”
"But I never went to college." "Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here."
Today i taught my son a lesson by eating his homework.
Tomorrow he will learn that most people do not believe you, even if you tell the truth.
Three men are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: "Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please." His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a tea pot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: "Well, comrade major did quite like your tea gag."
I went to a restaurant…
It was full; no place to sit… I took out my mobile, placed it to my ear and said loudly- "Bro, come fast, she's here with someone else". Six couples ran away..
Why are gay people always laughing
Because they can't keep a straight face
I used to know a guy who did circumcisions
The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips.
This is my horse, Mayo.
Friend: why did you call him that, he’s not even a white horse? Mayo: [neighs]
![[Meme] Recursion in a nutshell](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/y851a5t0yg341-400x394.jpg)
Some crocodiles decided to get together and sing parody songs.
It's a pun-croc band.
If you hit Dwayne Johnson’s ass
Does it mean you hit rock bottom
My dad told me to stop pretending to be a farm animal
He was sick of me horsing around
I used to be heavily addicted to soap…
Don’t worry, I’m clean now.
I previously suffered from premature ejaculation my GF got me some cream that reduces sensitivity
It 100% totally work's now i don't give a fuck about that bitch.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole crushing.
Mountains aren’t just funny
They’re hill areas
Master yoda, are we on the right way??
Off course we are
Petition to get SpaceX to send a Flat Earther into Space
http://chng.it/BDBrQHFJrk
If male cows ate one another instead of hay…
It would be appropriate to serve meals to them as "Can-a-bull."
A high school is having a talent show.
The first act is a girl trying to tie a knot with a cherry stem in her mouth. She tries and tries, but she just cant do it. A guy from the audience yells out, "Hey, maybe you should practice with my dick!" Most of the audience laughs. The girl requests a microphone and a nearby teacher obliges. The girl says into the microphone, "I think I should get good with the cherry stem before I try anything smaller."
Someone called me racist for saying “black paint.”
Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence."
How does an octopus go into battle?
Well armed
A Joke from my little cousin
What do you call a bunch of monkeys all mixed up? An Orangatangle!
