not just a bafflingly unfunny second caption, but a random date screenshotted alongside it
She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama
They made a joke 21 years ago and people are still laughing at it.
They lied, everyone else has clothes on.
Exactly where you left it.
They didn't even do anything.
They’re a little meteor.
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?” The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
"But I never went to college." "Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here."
Tomorrow he will learn that most people do not believe you, even if you tell the truth.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: "Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please." His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a tea pot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: "Well, comrade major did quite like your tea gag."
It was full; no place to sit… I took out my mobile, placed it to my ear and said loudly- "Bro, come fast, she's here with someone else". Six couples ran away..
Because they can't keep a straight face
The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips.
Friend: why did you call him that, he’s not even a white horse? Mayo: [neighs]
It's a pun-croc band.
Does it mean you hit rock bottom
He was sick of me horsing around
Don’t worry, I’m clean now.
It 100% totally work's now i don't give a fuck about that bitch.
It was sole crushing.
They’re hill areas
Off course we are
It would be appropriate to serve meals to them as "Can-a-bull."
The first act is a girl trying to tie a knot with a cherry stem in her mouth. She tries and tries, but she just cant do it. A guy from the audience yells out, "Hey, maybe you should practice with my dick!" Most of the audience laughs. The girl requests a microphone and a nearby teacher obliges. The girl says into the microphone, "I think I should get good with the cherry stem before I try anything smaller."
Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence."
What do you call a bunch of monkeys all mixed up? An Orangatangle!